Grant Leboff: You talk about confidence a lot in the book and having confidence. One of the techniques that you referred to is using 'anchoring'. So can you just explain what that is?
Nicci Roscoe: Anchoring is a memory that we have in our head, that we then remember - that makes us feel good - and inspire us and encourage us to do something that, perhaps, we didn't feel good about before we were motivated to go and do... It's like... sometimes we remember a record - music - that we really loved and when we put that music on, we sing along and we feel fantastic, it's the same thing. So if you had a business deal that went really well and it put a massive smile on your face or, as some people said, when they went off and they had their recreation and they were playing football and they scored a goal, they felt fantastic.
It can be anything that you want to think, and imagine, and remember. So you squeeze the thumb and forefinger of your left or right hand - whichever is more comfortable to you - and close your eyes, take a deep breath in, and release, and remember that moment. And whilst you are remembering that moment, step into that moment. Make the picture bigger and brighter, and then imagine hearing yourself and how you were laughing or enjoying yourself or what you were saying in that meeting, or see yourself when you were shaking hands and the deal was done, and it was fantastic, or you were getting that goal when you were playing football!
Whatever it is, imagine that. So keep squeezing, be in there, make that picture bigger, brighter, bolder, really see what you see. Hear what you hear, feel what you were feeling at that moment and enjoy it. Then take a deep breath and come out of it.
Grant Leboff: So it's really a technique for changing your emotional state.
Nicci Roscoe: Absolutely. Every time you want to change your emotional state, all you have to do, once you've set it in your mind – and bear in mind you can have layers, so if you want to imagine relaxing... whatever situation it will be, going for a lovely walk, having a swim, having a massage, being in the sunshine, whatever it is - if you're feeling stressed, whatever the circumstances, just squeeze your thumb and forefinger. Bring on an anchor, a memory that makes you feel the state that you really want to feel
Grant Leboff: And how easy is it for business leader to learn that technique and use it?
Nicci Roscoe: It's very easy. For instance, I was working with a client who arrived to do some work with me and we were going to be doing presentation skills, talking to camera... He walked in and he couldn't focus. He sat down and he said 'Oh I'm in a state and there are so many things going on'. I said hang on a minute, let's just take a deep breath. Let's just remember what we've achieved and what we can do and let's just breathe for a moment. Just think of a time that you felt nice and relaxed and calm. I'd like to bring on your anchor - because we'd worked on it - and he did, and actually, at that moment his secretary walked in and she'd never seen him so relaxed! [laughs] I had to wave her off to go out, because he had his eyes closed.
So every time I met up with him after that, we always start off with a relaxation process. Anchoring can be used in business with business leaders, any time. It's a really great win. No one knows that you're doing it. Literally, you just squeeze your thumb and forefinger together and nobody can see.
Grant Leboff: You talk about the importance of 'self talk' as well. How does that differ - because obviously anchoring brings on a certain emotional state - I suppose self talk is meant to make you feel good as well, but how does that differ from anchoring?
Nicci Roscoe: A great example of that is a banker with whom I worked, when things weren’t great in the 80s. He was a director and he was blamed for so many things going wrong. He rang me up and he said Nicky it's all my fault! I said hang on a minute, if you're going to tell yourself that this is all your fault, this doesn't come just from you. This comes from right at the top. This comes from working with your team. This is all of you. This is the economy. This is not your fault. Let's not put this on your shoulders. Let's start looking at this in a different way. Even now I'm still in touch with him and he always says to me 'Nicky it's not my fault', so he turns it around.
It's turning things around to say; actually, everything's okay, I can do this. I can handle this, I can take control of this situation. I really do believe by telling yourself what you can do, and not telling yourself what you can't do, is the way you want to go forward. It's what I can do and what I'm going to do, rather than changing that and making yourself not feel good. Feel good by talking positively.
Affirmations, actually. That's what they're called, affirmations.
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